What's a joke you haven't used yet, but are dying to share?

Read also:

• Can I add pencil on top of my dry brush oil painting? Reason being it's easier to draw darker hair colour. Will pencil lead and oil paint interact and cause something horrible?
• Why does my iPhone keep on saying I can’t upload photos to iCloud and say it doesn't have enough iCloud storage when it still has space?
• Trump has a plan to remake the housing-finance system. It’s baffling to many lawmakers and experts. - Politico
• What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?
• Rocks reveal the turning point when oxygen changed Earth forever - Earth.com
• A fisherman discovers a black iceberg off the northeast coast of Canada, leaving scientists in shock. - Farmingdale Observer
• This ‘smoke’ ring was formed by one of the biggest creatures on Earth. Scientists say it has never been documented before - BBC Wildlife Magazine
• Jonathan Anderson has been appointed sole creative director of Dior - Vogue Business
• What is the best video editing software you are using presently?
• Northern Lights Alert: Auroras Set to Illuminate the Skies Across 18 U.S. States This Weekend - The Daily Galaxy
• Est eos enim quis.